Term 4 Written Language

WALT write a character description of a person we know very well.

We know we have achieved this when we …

-    have written about the person’s physical appearance (the way they look).

-    have written about the person’s behaviour (how they speak or act).

-    have written about how they affect other people (what do they do to make you notice them).

-    have written about the person’s environment and belongings.

-    used descriptive words to make a picture in the mind of the reader

My Nanny by Georgia Radcliffe

Her name is Mary. She needs glasses when she wants to read something. She has a magnificent selection of glasses. She wears a certain type of old clothes that look really pretty on her. She dyes her hair purple and pink. When she does, it is as fluffy as a lamb’s woollen fleece. She likes kids like me who love to play! She also loves taking Sharr the dog, for a walk. She mostly loves her grand kids. She has seven. They are my cousins. Last of all, she loves spending time with her family and friends. She does very kind and caring things. She does planting for other ladies. Her job is to look after babies. She lives with Graham. She basically works in the garden. She lives one door away from new World, so whenever I go to stay, we get fish and chips.

Feedback:

You have begun to describe your Nanny’s behaviour and what she does but I have no real picture in my mind of what she actually looks like. You need to describe her physical appearance more. Check the criteria as to what else to add.

Next steps:

1.    Try to begin your sentences in different ways.

2.   Use adjectives (describing words) and maybe some similes so there is a clearer picture of Nanny.

3.   Some sentences can be extended further to give more information e.g. “She has a magnificent selection of glasses.” What exactly do you mean by this?